You Know You're a Frugal Tightwad When...

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 (Confessions of a Shopaholic)

(Chinese Buffet) 


You know you're a frugal tightwad when you can't remember the last time you ate dinner that didn't end with "All You Can Eat Buffet" at the end of the eatery's name.  What can beat a soup to sundae bar buffet for $9.95 with carving station.  Certainly not a white linen table restaurant with a plate too pretty to eat that sends you hitting the Wendy drive-through window on your way home.

You know you're a frugal tightwad when you go to the supermarket with a friend and you break out in a sweat when she pays full-price for items without coupons and barely noticing the prices.   

So, what's a tightwad frugal to do.  When she's not looking, you switch them out for store brands at buy one get one ignoring her shaking head.  She'll thank you later.

You know you're a frugal tightwad when you drive back to the supermarket when the register over-charged you a nickel for an item.  Hey, at this supermarket, that mistake will get you the item for free.  Can't be that with a half-priced baseball bat.  

 (Supermarket Aisle)

And yes, you have Frugal Tightwad-itis when you walk with your eyes reverted to the ground constantly scanning for change like a human metal detector.  I'm not embarrassed, well ... not anymore.  Because a found penny or nickle can make a difference between getting a 32oz. cup of Kona coffee and a 12 oz. cup at 7-Eleven.

Coupon Entertainment books are a wonderful addition to the 20th and 21st centuries.  They're an even better when you buy them on sale, or if you snag a promotional coupon.  I've got my eye on the 2011 Coupon Entertainment Book.   This is great for when you travel to a spendthrift city like Vegas.  I think most major cities have entertainment books. 


Average Joans and Coupon Entertainment Books go hand-in-hand.

(Lifesize wedding cake)

I was never a spendthrift.  No, that's not true.  I had my moments living the single life in New York City.  Ah... that was the life, and I've got nothing to show for it.

This reformed frugalista, tightwadista whatever you want to call me has more to show for it, I'm quite happy to say.  

It all began when I said "yes" to a date and then "I do," four and a half years later.  (No, that's not me in the bride cake above.)  My tightwad groom would've passed out if I had ordered that.  I'm sure it was bigger than my editorial assistant wedding budget could handle.  Eighteen years later and we are frugally happy.
  

Being married to a frugal tightwad, the son and grandson of tightwads, it's bound to rub off on you.  In our early days, I used to hang my head in shame at my husband stingy, not-so-cute ways.  

Now, with the recession kicking our booties.  Mine is sometimes clad in my latest Salvation Army, never worn before Ralph Lauren Jeans.  These days, I can't stop smiling at the check out line, when the cash register rings up $40 and I spend $3.  That's after I stood behind someone who just spent $120 for food without coupons.  Double Yikes!

What's the advantages of being a frugal tightwad?  I get to vacation on a tropical island once or twice a year for three weeks.  Of course, we  take our coupons and are well-stocked with the island's supermarket cards.  What?  We haven't lost our minds.  

Living for less doesn't mean you have to settle for less.  No, No Nanette.  I have two Coach bags one bought at a consignment shop for $20 another at the Salvation Army for $8.  And yes, they're the real deal.  

(Coach Handbag - Fashfire.com)


I wear mostly designer clothes because my husband, the shopperismo of the family, loves only designer wear and always finds a great deal for under $20 and  even under $10.  We love when the mark-offs are marked off with an addition 10 percent off.

(Style Bakery)

Eyes Wide Open
I knew I wouldn't be creating the Holly Golightly Breakfast at Tiffany's lifestyle with my George Pepard, but I didn't think discount cards would make my wallet hard to close.

Sure, it wasn't all sunshine and roses when we first got together and I noticed we barely ate at a restaurant without a coupon.  But when I started seeing the fruits of his thrifty labors, I jumped on the bandwagon without hesitation.  

(Fine Dining)

Yes, on occasion we visit Le Bec Frou Frou, but you better believe theres a 40th anniversary price deal or a free desert special or gift card to get us in there.  We are coming out of there with a smile and a saving, and probably not with a full belly.

 (Shopping Bags)

These days, it's cool to live large for less.  Try it... I guarantee, if you do it right ... you'll reap the  rewards. 

We Fall Down...

That is ... Fall into this season's writing contests.  Even if you're not a writer, I'm sure September 1, opens a door of new possibilities for you.  It almost feels like January 1, when we get to start again.  We fall down, but get back up again.  

And there's the other side of it.  

Summer is emotionally and officially over after Labor Day weekend.  I'm both sad and excited. The sadness comes from not being able to watch the sunset on a Hawaii beach before dinner, unless I create a mural of it on my living room wall.  

My excitement centers on my book submission and entering the Scriptapalooza Television Writing Contest.  Of course, I'll probably be kissing that deadline date. Here are my contenders for entry:

(The Middle)

 (House of Payne)

(Army Wives)

1. The Middle
2. Tyler Perry's House of Payne
3 Army Wives

I'm leaning toward The Middle because the Mom, Frankie Heck, doesn't get anymore Average Joan than her.  I love the plot premise: 

The daily mishaps of a harried woman and her semi-dysfunctional family and their attempts to survive life in general in the city of Orson, Indiana.  What Average Jane do you know isn't harried?  As long as there are families, computers, shopping malls and double coupons -- our lives will be harried.  Thank goodness for chocolate.   I'm just saying.

 (Super Mom)

Patricia Heaton's Frankie Heck is the "every woman," at least in the land of Average Joans.  And her husband Mike is the husband many of us have but won't admit it unless we're strapped to a lie detector.  I won't tell if you won't.  But at the end, these "every men" always come through in a pinch.

(Everybody Loves Raymond)

Frankie makes Debra Barone look like arm-candy taking her to the next hilarious level.  She basically accepts her family for who they are ... the good, but mostly the ugly.  She fights it, but she often have bouts of "Keeping up with the Joneses ..." okay, staying in their shadow.  Why can't her daughter, Sue, take a great class photo?  Just once could she not reach the re-take limit of three.  And why can't she get into a school club?  Even being Safety Girl's reaching high.

Frankie wonders that maybe she's taking this acceptance thing too far.  Maybe she should push her children more.  Shall I dare say it.  Why must they always be average?  (I'm speaking from her perspective, of course.  She's just having a moment.  It doesn't take her long to realize that in all of us Average Joans, something extraordinary always lurks beneath the surface.  It emerges when we least expect it. 

(Brick)

Brick, her baby son, is brilliant but weird in a social misfit at 8 kind of way.  (Average doesn't mean you have less intelligence.) Sixteen-year-old Axl gives new meaning to the word slacker.  He spends more time in his boxers than in his books.  I love Sue the middle child.  No matter how many clubs she don't get into; no matter how many photos of her come out awful, and how many things she just can't do -- she shrugs it off and tries something new.  That alone is extraordinary. 


In our super-sized world of super babies who read by two, this simply does not compute to the over-achiever.  That's why The Middle is my choice of entry.  

(Frankie)
Sure, Frankie has Sue tendencies at her job selling cars.  It's not her forte, but she's going to sell a car by hook or crook.  Even if her youngest can't attend school because he's sick, and she has to stow him in the back seat of a car on the lot in his pajamas with his pillow and blankie.  Don't judge.


My fave episode ... "Average Rules."   No surprise there.  Here's the recap.  Go to ABC.com and check it out.  It's hilarious! 

After attending year-end school parent-teacher conferences, Frankie and Mike are shocked to discover that Brick may be held back from going to the third grade because the school librarian, Mrs. Nethercott, has it out for him due to 31 unreturned books. Meanwhile, as Axl's aptitude test results reveal him to be academically gifted, Frankie makes it her mission to get an overlooked Sue the recognition she deserves when none of her teachers even remember that she's in their classes.

(Sue Heck)
Even though it's the last week of school, the coach allows Sue (due to Mom's incessant begging)to be included in the closing year's track team if she's able to run a certain amount of laps around the track.  Sue trains so hard she injures her leg and ends up with crutches.  Did you just say another chance bites the dust?   Oh, not so.  This is when the extraordinary part shows whose in charge.  

She hops with her crutches determined to make the team.  Torrential rain doesn't stop her, a hit in the head by a flying object doesn't stop her, her crutch breaks ... she keeps on crawling until she crosses the finish line to a standing ovation.  That's my girl!

Oh yeah, Scriptapalooza TV- International Television Writing Contest ... Joan B. Average is heading your way.   

Here are my top picks for upcoming scriptwriting contests from moviebytes.com:

Scriptapalooza TV Writing Competition 
Final Deadline: 10/01/2010 

Entry Fee:  $40

Our intention is to help open doors for the aspiring television writer. There are four categories you can submit to, which include 1 hour existing spec scripts, 1/2 hour existing sitcom spec scripts, original pilots, and reality programs. This competition is designed with the TV writer and crossover screenwriter in mind. The participants we have chosen to read the winning scripts are individuals from established production companies. 

Overall rating:

The Greenlight.com Annual Script Contest

Entry Fee:  $50

Final Deadline: 09/30/2010

Our Objective is to provide new writers with feedback, exposure and cool prizes they can show their friends. Our mission at the-GreenLight.com is to provide new writers with helpful insight and tools to make their writing better. Overall rating:

Acclaim Film
Final Deadline: 10/23/2010 
Entry Fee:  $55
To introduce writers to the decision makers in film and multimedia markets. Top script receives $1,000 and ALL competition winners, runners-up, and finalists will earn the chance to have their scripts read by established production companies and agents in LA and NY. We strive to provide commentary on each script.  
Overall rating:


Acclaim TV Screenwriting Competition
Final Deadline: 10/23/2010 
Entry Fee:  $50
To introduce writers to the decision makers of traditional broadcast television, the cable market, and multi-media outlets. Competition winners will have their material read by experienced producers and agents in L.A. and N.Y.  
Overall rating:


LA Comedy Scripts Screenplay Competition
Final Deadline: 12/20/2010

Entry Fee:

$35 features/$30 shorts/$30 Half-hour Comedy pilots (by October 2nd, 2010); $45 features/$40 shorts/$40 Half-hour Comedy Pilots (by November 3rd, 2010); $55 features/$50 shorts/$50 Half-hour Comedy Pilots (by December 3rd, 2010); $75 features/$70 shorts/$70 Half-hour Comedy Pilots (by December 20th, 2010

The L.A. Comedy Shorts Film Festival and Screenplay Competition is dedicated to promoting the comedy genre and helping comedy filmmakers and writers take the next step in their careers. L.A. Comedy Shorts was ranked one of the ''Top 25 Festivals Worth the Entry Fee'' by MovieMaker Magazine, and listed as one of the ''Top Ten Festivals in the U.  
Overall rating: