Is Your Life a Reality Show?

 (WE's Bridezillas)

(Kate Plus Eight - TLC.com)
(Big Brother 12)

(Project Runway) 

Can't you see it now?  There I am ... Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter, an animated version  of me on your screen after you clicked on TLC or E!  

There I am... an animated me being chased by my laptop.  It smacks me on the head and instead of seeing stars, benjamines whirl around my head.  It turns into one bill that I'm chasing and following it to my laptop and superimposes into a live me hard at work at my desk.  

Then what?  Does the camera follow me knitting in that long post office line because my local federal employees are a tad slow.  Or maybe you can get an attractive glimpse of me plunging the crap out of my kitchen drain so I can finish washing my dishes ... sorry, no dishwasher here.  Very attractive.   

Why not join me on my mini trampoline while I'm watching Food Network and wishing I was eating Bobby Flay's latest throw-down cuisine ... chocolate bread pudding ... yummo!

Search Amazon.com for bobby flay cookware

It doesn't take long for you to realize that reality shows are like watching yourself living your life ... BORING.

Here's the million dollar question.  If reality shows are so boring why can't we stop watching them?  We can put it to the potato chip philosophy.  You know it's salty and fattening but can't stop at one. 

Another course of thought, let's escape our lives and solve somebody else's problems. We can fix what's wrong in another person's life all within a commercial break.

Not so fast, let's first distinguish between the boring and the glued to the screen reality show.  Often the ones that follow the daily lives of people can put you in yawn mode real quick.  But those where contestants are competing for their dreams keep you tuning into the time slot.

(Lisa Raye)

Let's see, we have the Lisa Raye reality show, the Terrell Owens reality show, the Fantasia reality show and the list goes on and on like popcorn.  

Then you have the dream job reality show I mentioned, the life with sextuplets and twins reality, the 19 kids and counting sprinkled between the little people shows I love.  The latter are the most inspiring.  TLC launched December 15, 2009 the "Little Chocolatiers" featuring Steve Hatch and Katie Masterson, the husband and wife team behind Salt Lake City's Hatch Family Chocolates.

(TLC's Little Chocolatiers)

 What if reality shows were produced in the fifties?  Can you picture Lucy and Ricky Ricardo in their Hollywood mansion arguing about leaving the seat up, or leaving the gas tank on "E" ... yada, yada.  

Life can be messy, fun, difficult, wonderful, sad and miraculous all in a five-minute time span.  And we get to see it everyday in high definition.  

From Bridezillas to Hoarders:  Buried Alive ... reality shows are also a cry for help. If we look at them closely, we may see pieces of ourselves that make us cringe.  We don't have to live a depressed, joyless life.  You are what you think.  You think negative thoughts your life becomes consumed with negativity.

It's amazing how quick the designers on Heidi Klum's Project Runway are to criticize each other.  Very rarely is there something positive said.

Then there are those reality television shows that are inspiring and end each episode on a positive note with a valid lesson learn.  Run's House comes to mind.  Run's house follows the hectic life of  Reverend Run aka Joseph Simmons aka Rapper Run DMC, hip-hop music pioneer and his wife and seven talented children.

(Run's House)

Run's House stands apart from the other MTV reality show programming.   This show portrays one affluent African-American family's values and morals. Unlike many MTV shows, there is no sex, profanity, foul language, or violence to worry about.

 (Dog:  The Bounty Hunter)

A&E won't be left out of the reality show drama.  They're pulling in the ratings with "Dog:  The Bounty Hunter."  Surprisingly this show has a moral and spiritual spin to it.  They often have prayer with bail jumper right after they slap on the handcuffs, and always end with words of encouragement to help them change their lives.  Unlike Run's there's also a lot of bleeping out profanity.

Reality shows can be a wake-up call in our own lives and a seed for change. 

  

Summer Reality Shows are Back!

Girl Enjoying a Georgia Peach

Cherries

Peaches, Watermelon, Bing Cherries ... 
and the upcoming "Big Brother"

... the new signs of Summer heat up Network and Cable Television. 

(Big Brother 11)
 
It wouldn't be summer without "Big Brother."  Despite my love/no love relationship with this reality show, I always catch myself scheduling my nights around an airing of "Big Brother" from early July to mid-September.

Once again, we'll see the standard Jeff and Jordan romances, cat fights between Lydia and Natalie clones over a Jessie stud wannabe, scheming alliances like Kevin and Natalie's and explosive rebellions that forced "Big Brother 11" producers to send Chima packing without a nomination ceremony.  

(Television Viewer)

No matter how much I try not to watch, I'm surrounded by close friends and family members who will phone me during the time slot and ask:  Are you watching "Big Brother?"  And of course my answer is always:  Oh, yeah ... did you see what so and so just did?

Sunset Palms

It gets worse.  On a long weekend vacation, I rush back from a sunset walk on the beach just to watch the 12 insane house guests who by now have turned into preschoolers.  (no offense to preschoolers)


It would be nice to see some seasoned and ethnically diverse "Big Brother 12" housemates or any not obsessed with their looks and born before the Internet. 

(True Beauty)

Speaking of beauty obsession, a newcomer on the reality show summer scene and in its second season is the ABC show, "True Beauty" -- where shallow, beauty-obsessed young men and women are lured into thinking they're competing to become (this season) Mr. or Ms. Las Vegas and all the fame and fortune that come with it. 

  (Candid Camera)


What they don't know is that they're really being judged on their inner beauty -- physical beauty plays second fiddle.  On the first challenge, they create a hot look for themselves on a limited budget.  Hidden cameras follow them 24-7 through challenges and through their personal time.

It almost reminds me of the old "Candid Camera" Show.  Hmm ... what would Allen Funt think about, "True Beauty?"  I'm thinking he would've dug it.

An actress who pretends to be the store's sales person helps each contestant create an eye-catching look.  She tempts them into stealing an outfit that's over their budget, as the three "True Beauty" judges and America candidly watch.  Some pass the test and, sad to say, some don't.

I missed the show last night, but I wouldn't raise an eyebrow if the young woman who flunked the first test and the second test last week was shown the door.

 (The Next Food Network Star)


Then we head over to the food and interior design side of reality television where our bullies are not fellow contestants, but appear to be the judges of "The Next Food Network Star" and "HGTV Design Star."  

Their job is to bring out the best in each finalist where ultimately one will win a cooking show on the Food Network.  If they can't stand a little constructive bullying, then they need to get out of the kitchen.  Whether they're cooking in it or hanging cabinets.

 (HGTV Design Star 2010)

Yes, summer and reality television heat will both sizzle in the upcoming weeks.  Stay in either one too long, you may get fried.  So what's a summer viewer to do?   You slather on extra sun block, crank up the A.C. and go back for more.  Ah ... don't you just love summertime drama?

Want some swimsuit ideas that fit your personality?  Check out iCafe Woman Moderne, a virtual cafe for women inside an Art Moderne home. 

And They Lived Happily Ever After?

There's nothing worse than an unsatisfying ending to a movie.  Okay, there are a lot of things worse, but an ending that doesn't give you a good payoff for the turns, spins, peaks and valleys of a movie -- just leaves you unsatisfied. 

It's like when someone serves you a slice of strawberry shortcake.  It looks so pretty with its whipped cream icing and plump strawberries.  You can't wait to take a bite.  But when you bite it, all you taste is a stale mess.  Now you've got strawberry juice dripping from your mouth and a stain spreading on your brand new, white silk blouse. 

I know what you're thinking.  We can't expect every movie to always have a happy ending, but it would be nice to have a hopeful one or at least one that makes sense.  Last weekend, I saw Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married Too?"  

I loved the first one.  Satisfying ending ... definitely, I was already writing the sequel by the time the credits rolled on the screen.  I couldn't wait to see the sequel.  It was supposedly set three years later, but it felt more like three months later.  

(Why Did I Get Married Too?)

I didn't see any growth in the characters (except for one couple) and maybe that was the whole point of the movie.  Of course, this is purely a subjective view.  I don't want to give away the movie for those who haven't seen it yet. Unfortunately, the ending left me deflated and not wishing for another sequel.

On the other hand, Tyler Perry's "Madea's Family Reunion" took you on a domestic roller coaster ride that gave you a satisfying ending and floated you away on a "Happily Ever After" cloud. 

There can't always be a happy ending, but the ending should be a climax for the events of the movie.  Some may watch it and say it was.  But for me, the ending seemed too easy. It didn't make sense.  I guess there was a glimmer of hope.  

I'll use this analogy to describe what would've made the ending more satisfying for me.  When you get a boo-boo, you put on a band-aid.  Once it starts to heal, you rip off the Band-Aid so it can breathe and finish healing.  Everyone sees the yucky sore for a little while, it's not pretty, but then it heals and disappears.  Only you know your boo-boo was there.
  

There are two consequences.  Either you'll no longer wear those stilletoes that made you fall in the first place and created the boo-boo.  Or you'll learn how to walk in them. This approach would've made the ending in Why Did I Get Married Too?  more satisfying to me.    

(Because I Said So Cake)

Often symbolism help give you that satisfying ending.  The above black & white polka dot wedding cake with red rose buds played a symbolic role in the  the movie, Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore.  

Growing up, how many times have you heard your Mom say, "Because I Said So?"   That many.  If only I had a dollar for every time, you would be calling me Joan B. Trump.  That infamous response by parents to squash a child's question easily becomes a battle cry when the questions don't stop in a timely manner."  

Just the title alone tells you this is a family dramedy.  You'll discover from the first scene that it's a grown baby daughter vs. controlling mama drama.  Daphne (Diane Keaton), the mom, doesn't think her youngest daughter, Milly (Mandy Moore) can find Mr. Right on her own, so she secretly places a personal ad.  

(Because I Said So Fashion)

Mom wears her favorite black and white polka dress when she interviews potential son-in-laws.  Out of her three daughters, she believes Milly's the most like her and tells her this every chance she gets.  Of course, Milly thinks they're night and day.  Did I mention, they're both in the food business?  Daphne is a baker, Milly is a caterer. 

Daphne buys Millie a  red and white polka dress and insists she wears it to an event she's catering the next day.  Daphne doesn't know that Mom arranged for her chosen Mr. Right, a wealthy architect, to show up there.  He gets Milly's attention when he compliments her on the polka dot dress.  

Mom stops by her apartment before the date with Mr. Right and is shocked to see her wearing the polka dot dress again and Mr. Wrong at the door.  He's the guitarist Mom vetoed at the pre-screening interview.   

Throughout the movie, all of their boo-boos get bandaged and aired out for healing.  And then we get a satisfying ending where the boo-boo is barely visible.  You see, while Daphne's looking for Mr. Right for her daughter, she finds a Mr. Right for both of them. Daphne, in turn, finally accepts with new eyes that she is her mother's daughter  and she's okay with it.  Ah!  Satisfying.  Don't you love it!   
 

(Edge of Darkness)

A satisfying ending can also mean a sad ending.  In Mel Gibson's 2010 thriller, Edge of Darkness about a cop, Thomas Craven, who investigates his daughter's murder, a contracted hit by her employer.  Emma Craven is first poisoned with Thalium after drinking organic milk and shot to death when Dad tries to rush her to the hospital.  

His dead daughter who guides him through dreams and his imagination.  He also drinks poisoned milk to flush out Emma's killer.  Hand-in-hand, Father and daughter are victorious at the end.  At the end of Edge Darkness, we leave with faith that good will always take the upper hand. When I watch thrillers, I need to see this kind of ending. 

Yes, we live in the real world, but can't we enjoy a hopeful-ever-after escape now and then?  

(How Stella Got Her Groove Back)




  

Sleep Well, Miss Lena Horne ...

"It's So Hard to 
Say Goodbye to Yesterday..."

I can't get that song from the "Cooley High"  1975 movie out of my head when I think about Lena Horne's home-going on Monday, May 10.  It's sad to face the painful fact that this era has gone, but certainly not forgotten.  

(portrait depicting Harlem Renaissance - 1904-1935)

I'll never forget this Harlem Renaissance Baby, Hollywood Glamour Girl, Night Club Gem and Broadway Darling who strutted the entire entertainment package.

 (Lena Horne - Starlet)

Wrap it up with a social conscious bow, and you've got a wonderful gift for the world to enjoy for years to come.  Lena Horne had beauty, brains and a social conscious.  She knew who she was and where she came from, but more importantly wanted all people regardless of the color of their skin to have access to the same opportunities in life. 

(Lena with Frank Sinatra)

One would think that the title: civil rights activist would not be in the same bio of a Hollywood icon, but she was both.  Her distinctive singing style captivated many, even those who didn't enjoy contemporary standards.  Stormy Weather was the only popular song my mother hummed, when she wasn't humming her favorite spiritual.

Growing up, I remembered how the older African American women, the elders in my life -- always referred to her as Miss Lena Horne.  They saw her as an elegant, talented lady who could have passed for a white actress in the 1930s and 1940s to win coveted roles.  But she did not and would not.  

Max Factor even developed an Egyptian makeup shade exclusively for her, but she refused to go along with the studio's efforts to portray her as an exotic Latina.  

She once said, I don't have to be an imitation of a white woman that Hollywood sort of hoped I'd become, I'm me and I'm like nobody else.

(All Star Pics)
(From Yahoo News) 

When Horne was only two her grandmother, a prominent member of the Urban League and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) enrolled her in the NAACP.   Activism didn't become a part of her life until 1945 when she was performing at an army base and saw German soldiers sitting up front while black soldiers were confined to the rear. 

Eighteen years later, she joined the Hollywood stars who Marched on Washington in 1963 for Jobs and Freedom when Martin Luther King gave his "I have a Dream" speech. 

Lena Horne was a star from the time she emerged out of her mother's womb.  Born in 1917 in Brooklyn, her mother left her in the care of her grandmother to find work in show business.  

By age 16, Horne danced in the Cotton Club's chorus line where the entertainers were black and the clientele white.  She became a nightclub performer before moving to Hollywood.  

She left the Cotton club in 1935 to tour with Noble Sissle's orchestra billed as Helena Horne, the name she continued using when she joined the Charlie Barnet's white orchestra in 1940.  A movie offer from MGM came when she headlined at the Little Troc nightclub with the Katherine Dunham dancers.

(Cabin in the Sky)

She had roles in numerous movies and more substantial parts in the all black productions:  Cabin in the Sky and Stormy Weather in 1943.  Because of the communist scare and her progressive political views, she was blacklisted and unable to find work in Hollywood.

 (Stormy Weather - Black Classic Movies.com)

Some of the legendary performances shown in the movie, Stormy Weather include:  (From Black Classic Movies.com)

•  Bill “Bojangles” Robinson showing his fancy footwork in multiple tap dance routines.  He was 65 years old when the movie was made and had been in show business for over 50 years.
•  Fats Waller performing Ain’t Misbehavin’, which was the song that made him famous.  He also performs a standout duet with Ada Brown singing the bluesy song “That Ain’t Right.”
•  Lena Horne singing the title tune “Stormy Weather,” which would become one of her signature songs.  She also dances with Bill Robinson and sings other memorable songs like “Diga Diga Doo.”
•  Katherine Dunham and her dance troupe performing memorable, Caribbean-inspired dance numbers.         
•  Cab Calloway in his trademark zoot suit leading his orchestra in the hip musical compositions “Jumpin’ Jive” and “Geechy Joe.”

•  The Nicholas Brothers performing a breathtaking dance number is one of the best dance routines ever captured on film.

(Lena Horne)

Returning to her roots as a nightclub performer, Horne performed in nightclubs, television and released well-received albums. 

She announced her retirement in March 1980, but starred in a one woman show in 1981 -- Lena Horne:  The Lady and Her Music that with more than three-hundred performances earning her a special Tony Award and won two Grammy Awards for the accompanying album and a third in 1995 for An Evening With Lena Horne.

Her distinctive jazz and blues style earned her critical acclaim for the songs:  Stormy Weather, The Lady is a Tramp and Cole Porter's Just One of Those Things, just to name a few.

(The Wiz)

Her last movie role was in 1978 as Glinda the Good in the movie, Wiz.  She also won two stars on the  Hollywood Walk of Fame – one for motion pictures and one for her work in the recording industry.

Sleep Well, Lena ... We'll miss you.